Darkness and Light
by lark lavroc
Summary: Joey decides on his feelings. Slight Yaoi. KJ


Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh or any of its characters so don't sue. This is just for fun and I gain no profit. 

**Author's Note:** So this is what happens when I take a break from my WIPs to concentrate on my studies. This does not bode well. 

Darkness and Light 

Joey stares at the dark, moving shadows on the ceiling. He lays still, unnaturally quiet, not all what he appears in daylight. But days were different from nights in all ways. The sun forever crawling across the very blue sky, stealth-like and powerful, entrancing Joey like it did when he was five and afraid of the dark. It gives him courage, those golden rays, to pretend, to bury and hide what ever part of him the dark can reach during Joey's moments of weakness. It gives him courage to be happy, to believe that happiness will never go away, leaving him abandoned and crumbled within abusive arms. 

The dark gives Joey no such comfort. It steals away his hopes and dreams, pushing him towards the edge again and again. Joey can not remember a time when the dark was not a bastion of pain. At first he was not the target, not directly anyway. But later when he was left alone and the first bruise was as obvious as the thudding sound of flesh hitting flesh, he knew he had become the prey. Joey hears this echo for years, but lives through it. No matter how bad it becomes, the thought of tomorrow, of sunlight, of Serenity, made it tolerable. 

Joey survives like he usually does and accepts the pain as given.

*~*~*

When Joey first meets Seto Kaiba, he is instantly aware of the alliance between the blue-eyed genius and the dark. He sees the sharp claws digging through pale scarred flesh, black gooey substance coating and staining purple while a solid heartbeat pumps steadily. He thinks of the heart, blacker than hematite, harder than diamond and indestructible. He sees and hears this in cold, soulless eyes and an even icier voice. It is enough for Joey to want to fight. Any ally with the dark was his enemy too, and since Joey can no more stop darkness from falling then stop light from wakening, he decides to set his sights on something more tangible. 

Joey tells himself it is bad luck which keeps him from winning against Kaiba, and not any failure on his part. Things were not always his fault, he persuades himself, but finds it hard to let go of words spoken endlessly in anger, time and time again. It is even harder to convince himself that Kaiba is mortal, a living human being that had needs and wants because Kaiba shows no weaknesses. No flaws. Joey thinks it is likely because he had none but doesn't dare admit it out loud. 

*~*~*

Surprises are a rarity for Joey. Even rarer was this particular surprise. He's not sure when it happened or how, but suddenly he doesn't see Kaiba  half in shadows anymore, collaborating in many malicious schemes. He doesn't know whether he is comfortable with this or not but he does know that buried deep, deep within a dead heart was a tiny living tissue that will not go away. He thinks of Serenity, and then of Mokuba, and comes to the conclusion Kaiba is human too. 

He is discomforted, disjointed perhaps at an inaccurate assumption on his part, but not quite enough to stop his animosity. The insults are uttered half heartedly, but its frequency does not lessen. Kaiba may not be as monstrous as he first appears, he may not even be as dark as Joey first thinks, however, none of this makes a difference in the way Kaiba treats others. And for this alone Joey finds he can hate as much as he did before. Whether he is unnerved by this viler part of himself, this part that seemed so familiar, remains to be seen. For now he is content to live in ignorance.

*~*~*

Kaiba doesn't live willingly in the dark. 

Joey is confused by how he knows this but he knows it to be true. He is unaware of how this bit of information has travelled from the darkly lit recesses of Kaiba's soul to the somewhat clouded thought patterns in his admittedly simple mind. He does not care for it either because this is far from what he wants, what he even needs in his relatively simple life. 

It is enough to survive the dark and be alive for the light. It is enough to hear Serenity's sweet honeyed laughter and be the source of it. It is enough. 

Then why is it so hard to think of anything else other then Kaiba's pain? 

*~*~*

Joey assures himself that Kaiba is oblivious to his change of heart. He tells himself that while Kaiba may be smart and rich, he is no emotional genius. He makes it into a mantra, short blunt words meaning to ease his soul. Never mind that the beat becomes fast and hard, in tune with the dull _thud thud thud _within his own chest. He can easily ignore that, just as he can easily ignore the intense blue eyed stares.

The gazes are frank and candid, appraising Joey and then turning away, like he was found lacking, below standards. Angered, Joey does not want to feel sad. He tells himself it is nothing, it means nothing. That Kaiba will forever be Kaiba and why the hell should he care? 

Even as he rants to himself, hands in pocket, hunched over and bitterly fighting sharp winds, he knows he does. He thinks he can hate himself for this and knows he will hate himself even more so when Kaiba uses this new weakness against him. Fear is no new emotion but Joey can tell he can't hide it as well as he did before, and this time...This time Kaiba will go for the neck. 

*~*~*

Fighting disbelief, Joey leaves his mouth hanging open, a dumbfounded expression on his face. He is suspicious of Kaiba's motives, confused by Kaiba's invitation, and hungry for the seductive but unsaid words Kaiba leaves silent in the air between them. 

Kaiba finally breaks their stalemate, releasing Joey's eyes with a final smirk, telling Joey not to be late before striding decisively through school halls. He does not look back to see Joey's widened and puzzled brown eyes. The blonde lets out a breath, and leans onto the rows of grey lockers. He slides down until he is sitting and hits the floor hard with his fist. Twice. 

Hope is a new emotion, unlike fear, and despite the clichés, seems just as or even more intimidating. Joey doesn't know how to handle these outpouring and overwhelming responses. Hell, he doesn't even know if he can trust Kaiba's words. Frustrated, Joey lowers his head and decides to just go home. He can make his decision later, much later. 

*~*~*

Joey stares at the large, oak door. He raises up his right hand, as if to knock, but pauses right at the last second. His knuckles graze the smooth surface and he closes his eyes, lost. He has come, just as Kaiba had bided. He has made his decision to trust in what Kaiba has left unspoken after hours of thinking with an aching head. And yet, he hesitates, just on the threshold. 

He thinks of the past, and how he feels hope despite the dark. He thinks of what will happen once he is inside this gigantic mansion which cries both money and sophistication. He sees himself inside amongst warmer furniture, and finds himself caught in the promise Kaiba has made, in an embrace as hot as the sun, and yet as painful as the dark. He shivers and searches for answers. For the very first time, Joey doesn't want the night to be over, he isn't urging for daylight to come.  

Taking a deep breath, exhaling softly, Joey opens his eyes and pulls his hand back. Sometimes all he needs is a companion in the dark.   


End file.
